Reverse Culture Shock

As I prepare to return to the US, I find myself in a mix of emotions.  I feel sad saying goodbye to everyone here and excited to see my family and friends.  These emotions are expected by myself and everyone else, but I have more feelings than just these two.

Several months back, I made a list of things that I missed from America that I could not do or have here (in this part of India, not India as a whole).  I missed cheeses, hamburgers, and sushi.  I missed driving my car.  I missed sitting in coffee shops with friends and going to the movies.  I missed hot showers, AC, and washing machines.  But now I don't really mind not having those things.  (Although I suspect I will enjoy them once I am back).

When I think about having all those things again, it just seems strange.  I've made a lot of changes to adapt to living here; now I must change again.  Culture shock is widely discussed and expected.  Reverse culture shock seems to fly under the radar.  I think the best way I can sum it up is to say that I feel out of place, uneasy, and foreign.  I know this is a phase and I will adapt and change, but this is how I feel for now.

Here are a few of many articles that are helpful:
http://www.forbes.com/sites/dailymuse/2012/09/06/home-sweet-home-dealing-with-reverse-culture-shock/
http://www.cnn.com/2010/TRAVEL/08/24/cultural.reentry/index.html

Monsoon Flooding in Uttarakhand

I was in Uttarkashi when the monsoon rains came a few weeks ago.  They came and came and came.  It rained for almost 2 days straight.  Around midnight an emergency vehicle drove by with a loud speaker on making announcements but my Hindi was not good enough to figure out what they said.  (Found out later that they were announcing that a huge landslide cut of access to the hydroelectric plant which supplies the town's electricity and water).  We lost power for 40 hours. We had no internet or phone service so I didn't realize how bad the situation really was.  I went for a walk after the rain and saw that one of the two bridges that span the Ganges River that flows through the middle of town had been swept away. (It may be hard to see in this picture but the bridge one extends half way across the river now).

I looked further down the river and saw that buildings had also been swept away. One example is here.

Tens of thousands of people were stranded because of huge landslides blocking roads(many of them domestic tourist visiting holy sites in the mountains).  Thousands were missing.  Hundreds dead.  Many people needed medical attention and food and water.  The entire village of Kedranath (a holy site) was completely destroyed.  I hear helicopters flying over head from sun up to sun down every day evacuating people higher in the mountains.

Getting accurate information and numbers is difficult, but wikipedia states, "As of 29 June 2013, more than 1,000 people have died with many more missing.^[1]  Damage to bridges and roads left over 70,000 pilgrims and tourists trapped in various places,^[3][4][5] of whom, many were rescued.^[6][7] As of 23 June 2013, about 22,000 people are said to be still stranded.^[8][7] The Indian Air Force, the Army and paramilitary troops have evacuated more than 1,00,000 people from the flood hit area.^[9] Although Utarakhand Assembly Speaker, based on various ground reports said that the death toll could cross 10,000,^[10] the official death toll in Uttarakhand (by 29 June 2013) was 842.^{[11]"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2013_North_India_floods}
 

Vacation in Delhi

My family came to visit.  We stayed mostly in Delhi but also visited Jaipur and Agra.  It was very hot-some days over 100 degrees.  These places are very popular with tourists so we were a bit overwhelmed with people who try to profit from tourists.  They can be very insistent.  My favorite place to visit in Delhi was Lodhi Garden because it was beautiful and peaceful.  Jaipur was a beautiful city and I would definitely recommend spending time there.

Delhi

Jama Masjid Mosque

Red Fort

Lodi Garden

 Humayun's Tomb

 Qutub Minar

Jaipur

City Palace

Agra

Taj Mahal

Tomb of Akbar the Great

Celebrating Holi, The Festival of Colors

Holi is a festival celebrated at the beginning of spring (according to the Hindu lunar calendar).  The festival has roots in Hindu mythology and celebrates the triumph of good over evil.  Holi is a multi-day event including family gatherings, music, humorous poetry, throwing of colored powder and water, bonfires, and eating special foods.

On the main event day of Holi, around 9 or 10am, women and children walk together and gather in fields to put colored powder on each other and dance.  Men gather too to socialize and drink.  This continues until about 2pm when everyone cleans up and eats.

We had a lovely time and people were very friendly.  They were very happy to have us join them in the celebration.

Apartment

 We are slowly working on getting the apartment to an acceptable state.  It is VERY dirty.  It's going to take a few days to get really clean.  There are also some quirky things to work out such as not having any gas for the stove so we bought an electric burner only to find out the one electrical outlet in the kitchen does not work.
Also, we bought a water purifier that connects to the sink but ours isn't quite the right size so we will have to find the right adapter.
There are quite a few lizards in the apartment on the walls.
We are also trying to figure out the taxi system to go to the market (found out today that they stop running around 5/6pm. (We had to pay $2 to hire a private taxi vs. the $0.40 we paid to tag along with other people in a taxi).
There was running water when we first arrived today, but after we got back from the market, there was no running water in the bathroom (but there is running water in the kitchen).
We have no fridge, hot water, couch, tv, AC, or towel rack.

 Bathroom

 Water heater-put this in a bucket to heat water for bathing

 Shower with only cold water-works well for summer

 My favorite-balcony with garden view

 Living room

 Living room

 Kitchen

Bedroom with closet

Air Travel in India

We took our first domestic flight in India and learned that there are some differences flying in India vs. the U.S.

1. You need a ticket or receipt to even enter the airport. (Airlines have booths outside).
2. You take your checked bags through security before checking the bags in.
3. At smaller airports, you don't go through security until it's close to boarding time.
4. Women and men are screened separately (women have a private cubicle area).
5. Airports are much smaller than in the US.
6. When you get on the plane, an officer checks to make sure your carry-on has an airline tag that was stamped when it went through security.
7. Most importantly: the people arriving and departing never mix (in many airports).  If you have transfer, you have to go through security again.  This was a surprise when we made a connection in Delhi.

Kochi, Kerala

Jason and I went to Kochi for a Fulbright Conference.

We went on a sight-seeing tour of the city with the other Fulbrighters (almost 200 of them)!

First we went to St. Francis Church built built by the Portuguese in 1503.  It was a Catholic church but it has been converted to an Anglican church.

Vasco de Gama was buried here

Then we went to see the Chinese fishing nets

Then we went to "Jew Town" to the synagogue and the Dutch Palace (sorry couldn't take pictures inside either).

We also saw a store called the Spice Market and saw a woman making a sari on a loom.

Earlier, we went to the mall in a rickshaw.

The hotel we stayed at was beautiful.

 This was our view from our room.

An Indian Wedding

I went to my first Indian wedding yesterday.  It was fun.  I liked getting all dressed up-I had bought a new outfit in Dehradun to wear to the wedding.  I wore as much sparkly jewelry as I could-including bangles, ankle bracelet, toe rings, a necklace, earrings, and rings.

Indian weddings are generally 3 days long on average.  Each day has different events.
At this wedding:
Day 1 was the henna painting (called Mehendi) and songs (the bride and groom are separately celebrating with their families at this point).  Day 2 morning was the Haldi Haath (a ceremony involving the family placing tumeric on the bride and groom (still separate at this point) and more music.
We went to Day 2 in the evening where the groom comes to the bride and there is a lot of dancing a music (and bagpipes).  There was a big buffet dinner.  The bride and groom place flower garlands on each other.  Later their would be a vow ceremony but we did not attend that (it was going to be at 2am).  Then Day 3 in the morning was the bride saying goodbye to her family.
I have greatly over simplified the wedding-if you want to read more about Indian weddings I suggest:
http://jessinsideindia.blogspot.in/2011/02/wedding-ceremony-feb-18.html

Traditional Garhwali music (2 bagpipes on the left and a dohl and damou drum on the right).
This is before the bride and groom and arrived.  They would later sit here and pose for pictures with family and friends.

 Bride and groom placing garlands of flowers on each other (ceremony called Jai Mala).

 We had several people come up to us and say they saw an article about us in the paper.  There also was a little girl (about 9 years old?) who spoke English and took great pleasure in staying with us the whole time and telling us what was going on.  This is a picture of her and her little brother.

 The wedding was a a hotel in a neighboring town called Maletha.

Dehradun

Today I find myself in Dehradun, the capital of Uttarakhand.  It stands in stark contrast to the small city of Uttarkashi where I was yesterday.

Hotel in Uttarkashi: no heater, Indian toilet, one electrical outlet, power out most of the day, black and white tv with poor reception, no phone, no toilet paper, and one crappy towel.
Hotel in Dehradun: central heating, western toilet, 6 electrical outlets with continuous power, flat screen tv with great reception, phone, all the toilet paper we want, two very clean towels, laundry service, and lots of furniture.

In Dehradun we can go to the movies, eat McDonald's, Subway, and Pizza Hut. 

I can get a root canal from a dentist that speaks English with western style facilities.

While I enjoy the comforts here, I realize that there are some nice things about being in smaller towns.  In Uttarkashi and Srinagar we were treated very kindly.  They interviewed us for the local newspapers.  It is also easier to meet people.  We got to visit smaller villages and watch their ceremonies and festivals.

There are both good and bad things about big cities and small ones but I will enjoy the differences wherever I am.

Uttarkashi

We made it to Uttarkashi today.  We got up at 5:15am and went to the taxi stand at 5:45.  Our guide (a professor of folk music from the university who is from Uttarkashi) was already there and had reserved our spots on a jeep taxi (seats 10-11 people).  It is the best way to go.  Reserving a private car costs over $55 but the jeep is $5 per person.  The way it works is that you ask around if a jeep is going to a certain city and then wait to see if there are enough people who are going to fill or mostly fill the taxi. If not enough people want to go you have to take a bus or book a private taxi.  We left at 6:45 with 8 people.  We made a few stops along the way including for breakfast.  We arrived around 1pm.  It was a beautiful drive. 

 This is the view from where we stopped for breakfast.

Our hotel is definitely a step down ($7 a night).  There is no heater but we got an extra blanket. 
We had some lunch, saw a famous temple, took a nap, explored the market and had dinner.
Dinner was interesting: we ordered noodles and got something that looked like egg rolls with noodles inside.  They were delicious and served with a sweet 'n' sour coleslaw and mint chutney. Yum!!
We are having a great time.  We are going to meet the musicians tomorrow at 11am.

This is the Kashi Vishwanath Temple, dedicated to the god Shiva.

Culture Shock

The university had sent a driver to pick us up and take us to the apartment we will move to at the agreed time of 11am but when the hotel reception called, we couldn't understand her and the driver went away.  Several phone calls and a mass of confusion later, at 4pm, a driver came again.

The dive was long (just over half an hour).  We didn't go far-it is just that the town is long and narrow and there is a river running through the middle.  Also, there are only two bridges, one on either end of town that cross the river.  This was the first time I got to see most of the town.  I was in culture shock most of the drive.  I just kept thinking, "Are you serious?"  I don't know how to explain it besides culture shock.  The roads were terrible.  Some people live in houses.  Some people live in shacks made of sheet metal and tarps.  There is a dam that is being constructed.  We drove THROUGH the construction areas-never would that happen in the states.  Some men had hard hats, some didn't.  Women carry huge, heavy loads on top of their heads. Children fly kites from their roof tops.  Women gather to collect water at wells.  They had tried to build a massive bridge in the middle of town but it collapsed sometime ago and it sat in ruins.  Cars, huge trucks, and motorcycles all zoomed around so fast I don't know how we didn't get hit or run over any pedestrians.  In India, the law of the road is "the biggest wins".

Once we got to the apartment, I realized I had no idea what is standard for an Indian apartment in this area.  For example, there wasn't a tv or furniture except a bed and some plastic patio chairs.  There is not an oven, just a stove.  I don't think I saw a heater or air conditioner (it gets to freezing at night and in the 100s in the summer).  There was a ceiling fan.  I was grateful to see a shower head (we've been using a bucket in our hotel).  There is not a shower stall or curtain.  I think there was a fridge but I'm not sure. They are installing a "western" toilet for us (which I am very happy about). I don't remember seeing a closet.

As I write this, I don't want you to think that I am unhappy about any of this.  I'm in a bit of shock at somethings but there is not really a value judgement attached if that makes sense.  I'm not worried or upset.  I actually knew most of these things before I came but some how it's different in person. I am fluctuating between stages two and three of culture shock for those of you who know about the stages.  It's a process and I accept that.
For more on culture shock: http://www.kwintessential.co.uk/cultural-services/articles/cultureshock-stages.html

This is a picture of a herd of goats in the middle of town. You know, like you do . . .?

The Local Paper

Jason and I (mostly Jason) were interviewed for a local paper in Srinagar. We were shopping in the market, looking to buy cds of local musicians, when a journalist overheard us and asked us a few questions.  After hearing that Jason was doing his PhD research on Gharwal music, he asked if we could go with him next door to sit and talk because he wanted to write an article about it. We agreed and were led to a patio and given chai.  We talked for a bit while he had two other men wrote down what we said (he translated it into Hindi for them) and we posed for a few photos. 

Then he asked if we could talk for a few minutes to his English class that was next door.  We agreed and talked to them about the importance of learning English, what challenges they might face if they were to go to America to find work, and how the educational systems of the two countries differ.  That sounds like a lot but we were very brief and not as eloquent as I make it sound.  I have no idea if they understood what we said or not.  I don't think there English was very good yet.

The whole thing was a weird experience but fun.  A couple of things that I noted: students all stood when we entered or left the room and waited for us to sit before being seated, most of them were studying hotel management, humor is difficult to communicate.

In India, most marriages are arranged.  The bride and groom sometimes don't even meet until right before the wedding.  Marriages that aren't arranged are called "love marriages".  The journalist asked if we had a love marriage and we said yes.  He asked if there were arranged marriages in America.  It's kind of funny to me that Jason and my parents didn't meet one another until the week before our wedding and how that must seem so foreign/backwards to Indians.  I tried explaining that to the journalist but I don't think he understood me.

Inspiring Song

This song has been a theme the last week or so.
It's hard living in a hotel room for over 3 weeks with not much to do.  We leave the room maybe an hour every day to go to the market and get food.  Also the power is out at least 3-5 hours a day.  And there are only 4 channels in English to watch.  We are sick about every other day. I know that there are worse things in life but it hasn't been very pleasant. 

Dancing in the Minefields
by Andrew Peterson

We went dancing in the minefields
We went sailing in the storm
And it was harder than we dreamed
But I believe that's what the promise is for

"I do" are the two most famous last words
The beginning of the end
But to lose your life for another I've heard
Is a good place to begin

'Cause the only way to find your life
Is to lay your own life down
And I believe it's an easy price
For the life that we have found

And we're dancing in the minefields
We're sailing in the storm
This is harder than we dreamed
But I believe that's what the promise is for

So when I lose my way, find me
When I loose love's chains, bind me
At the end of all my faith, till the end of all my days
When I forget my name, remind me

'Cause we bear the light of the Son of Man
So there's nothing left to fear
So I'll walk with you in the shadowlands
Till the shadows disappear

'Cause he promised not to leave us
And his promises are true
So in the face of all this chaos, baby,
I can dance with you

And we're dancing in the minefields
We're sailing in the storm
This is harder than we dreamed
But I believe that's what the promise is for
That's what the promise is for

A New Year

I thought about making New Year Resolutions today but I have no idea what they would be.  I have no clue what this next year will be like.  What will I do?  Who will my friends be? All I know is that I'm in India.  I don't have a job and I'm not in school.  It's kind of liberating but at the same time, I have no idea what I'm going to do.  The answer to that will come in time.  For now, I will wait at my Lord's feet.  He is in control.  He has a plan and purpose for me that He will reveal in His time.  This is not easy for a someone with my personality but God will give me grace.